Owning it.

So we are back on Griot: He Who Speaks the Sweet Word, and man does it feel good. As a group the four of us are hitting on all cylinders. David is showing the vulnerability, I've been looking for. Larry, is breaking his own walls down, and Barb is directing with her hyper focused precision in an effort to make us perfect for when we head to NY. I'm excited. Very excited. I realized this week what my problem as an actor has been with Griot. Blast of truth here: I have never felt truly comfortable with Griot and the characters I've been playing. I think because on a whole, I play characters that aren't the center of the scene, the majority of the characters I play in the piece are mostly supporting. This was a little hard for my ego. I mean, I was given the commission for this piece, I did a large majority of the writing, the play is my concept, and damn it, I wanted to star in it. But that line of thought was stopping me from doing the real work. Ego has to go out the door for an artist to truly work. This time out, I realized if I go into the performance working with and for the other actors, I will stand out. And that's what I've been doing. Working what I got to do, to the point that I feel like now, I am serving the work. And that is what this whole thing is supposed to be about serving the play, and the play serves the audience.

On other fronts, most of the work with "Chalk" has slowed down. Mostly because I need someone on my team to help realize the piece in the business aspect. Barb is too busy with a million and one other project, and so am I. She and I work best together on the creative side. As for business I need a manager, or an agent someone that is about me, and my work, has the connections and to make things pop. But hasn’t that been my struggle for a long time? Either way I keep on keepin’ on because, that’s what I do.

Earlier someone wrote that I was whining too much in this blog. I disagree. I talk about my struggles, but, I’m not complaining. It’s life. Everyone deals with it. There is nothing special about my struggles. They are what they are. I thank God for them because they make me who I am. If I was like many of my friends who are artist, with no children and no cares, I may be doing the same thing they are doing, nothing. My children, my life, the obstacles all of it make me a stronger writer, and dedicated artist, struggling to find the space between it all. This gives me the determination that I will succeed. What success is? I’m not sure, but I will get there. Because that’s what I do at my best, I live up to my motto “I’ll find a way or make one.” At worse I whine a little in this blog, bare with me.

Growing Seeds

Today I got the word that I had been chosen to recieve a grant from the State of Florida!!!!! The Grant is the Individual Artist Fellowship. I applied for the interdisciplinary Artist category. This is the first year that I have applied for grants, four in total. I haven't applied before, because i didn't really see the importance of it. I always thought the money would be nice, but it wasn't big enough incentive, as I figured most of the big money grants, I would not recieve. It's only been in the last year, (when money has been tight) and I began thinking that in order to break through to the "bigger leagues" I need to find something that translated in the acedemic world. Thus a Grant on the resume looks really good. So I started applying. I feel pretty confident in saying that the other Grants are long shots, but right now, I'm really happy about the one i just recieved.
Figuring out how to spend the money wisely is now the next chore. I've got so many ideas about what I want to do, but all of them eat the award of 5,000 grand pretty quickly.
In the meantime, GRIOT has begun it's production cycle again. I am sooo blessed to work with talented folks like David, Larry, and Barbara. We do some magical things together. I can see how all of us have grown since the last time we performed the piece. The two new part of the the play seem to be going well, but we haven't tried them with an audience yet. Barb and I have perfected our working relationship in reguards to GRIOT. Initially it was hard for both of us. For me as the head writer, I had a vision I wanted to keep intact, and at times would step on Bab's directing toes. On her part she at times, unintentionally limited my creativy by pushing us forward, when I wanted to create more with a piece. This time out, I'm being very aware of the postion she's in and she is giving me more freedom.
Currently, I'm in the process of sending out Griot packages to everyone and their momma trying to get some interest from different folks before we get to NY so we can get them out to see the play. It's our hope to use the piece asa vehicle to get a run in NY. Today, I'm going to start targeting poeple outside the box, and get them to come. By this, I mean people like Camille Cosby, (Bill's wife) this is the type of show she would love and as a producer of the "Having Our Say" I think it would be a great idea to have her come out. All of it is a long shot, but so was the Grant.
As far as CHALK is concerned, I'm somewhat lukewarm on it. Things aren't working out the way I had hoped they would. I have to sit down in the near future and get back on the planning. I think the major problem with the progress of the piece is me. With all the other projects I'm involved with, I am the engine that pushes the work forward. With Chalk, I was taking a back seat and letting others do some of the work. I did this primarily because I need to work on other things. But it is becoming evident, that I need to roll my sleeves up and jump back into the fray.
Still working on the screenplay. In the middle of writing, I had to move, so things have not been as steady as I'd like as far as the pace of writing, but on a whole the piece is still moving forward, and at this point, that's all I really need.